DIET FAIL Part XYZ

I really don't know how many attempts I made to go on a DIET and it failed. My stupid stomach and brains failed me today, wait more like willpower failed me. I had nasi lemak..... yes NASI LEMAK which i had not touched for a few months this morning. I got so guilty half way eating eat and decided to stop. Diet failed part 2 today when I had 2 KFC chicken breast because Pauline told me its only 700 calories without the skin.... bravo to that.
Now lets see how am I going to screw my dinner up.....hmmmmmmm

So I guesss its the DIET starts tommorow story for me now.

Neeed a Break sooon

I NEED A HOLIDAY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dammmm I reallly need a holiday but I don't really know where to go. I wanna go back to Melbourne and sip coffee by little Bourke St while watching time goes by or maybe go back to Perhentian and soak up some sun or perhaps I should just take some time off and just laze around at home. I have not taken a day off ever since Jan as I am saving it up for my second half of the year's non stop holiday. So I guess I have to reallly suck it up till June comes and off I go to Singapore to meet my Honey for a Singapore shopping trip.
So tilll then... tooodles.

Reasons to life in the land of kangaroos or NOT

Reasons why I should go 1) I love the life there. 2) People there are less fake and make more sense (at least the people I know) 3) Love the working enviroment 4) Love shopping there ( that is if I land myself an awesome job) 5) I can dance all week 6) Me just love it there...... ( I know stupid) Reasons why I shouldnt go.... 1) Bad for my kids.....( not education in terms of brought up) 2) U donate half ur income to the goverment to keep you happy (in long term) 3) Leaving my family behind 4) You are second class citizens and people will look down on you 5) Too many Natural Disasters 6) You will need 2 generations to pay off your house 7) Childcare cost a fortune 8) Shopping centers closes at 6 except for fridays 9) so that I dont have to spend RM20k on applying for the visa Dammmm more cons than pros.... so I guess the saying that the grass is always greener on the other side is reallly true. Its alll an illusion. I spoken to my friend last night from koala land and she told me that its not that nice to live in Koala land as the cost of living has gone up tremendously. Meaning unless you have a awsome pawsome job and both husband and wife are working you will live a pretty poor miserable life. She told me to rather live in Europe or Singapore or Malaysia which now I come to think about it is true. Dammmm man I reallly need help........how what to do. To dive into the green grass that I imagine or do look for a green patch in where I am.....

Life at an intersection

What do you dont know what to do with your life. I am at an intersection right now where if I do go forth with my PR application I will leave for aussie land in months and might not be able to have a life like I do now. But if I dont I will be stuck with my parents here for life. Ok I will let the law make my decision. If I do qualify for the point system in July I will do it and give it a go and since KJ is willing to go with me. If not I will stay and do my dad's business. Going there is not going to be easy for me as I need to start everything a new. Need a good paying job and all is not going to be an easy job. Will see how things go. As for me and KJ the only things we need is to talk to my parents which is going to be a bitch I know. So just pray that things will just work out for me.....:)

A new Year a new life

A new year and a new life has begun. I am beginning to realise why my parents disagree with me being overseas and all. I will try my best here in KL for another few years before I decided to take my luck elsewhere. I love being able to have the freedom to do all I want when I am in Melbourne. However that's because my family wasnt there. Now i guess my mom has let things go a little more on me so we will see how things go.

As with the bf, we are getting there. I hope things will be bright and shinny for us :).

As for my work..... willll update that when things get clearer.
Now my only goal is to save up more and be happpy :P

Feeling Crap

You know how the saying goes learn to love yourself before you love others.
I reallly have not love myself that much lately. I have been abusing myself with pillls and vitamins and medicines and all the shit. I know I might not live long but oh wellll. All I can say is I wanna be there for him right now. Be there for as long as I could. Learn to love him and learn to be a better person. I wanna sometimes bash myself up thinking what the hell you just did.

How sick my thoughts are

Sometimes I think maybe just maybe if I were to be missing or lost who will be worried for me.
I am seriously seriously dissapointed with my mom. Every guy I date she has something to say. frist T she says he is a gambler and looks retarted. Ok fine. Then KJ, he is an indian and he might not make enough to support you and the family in future. So whats next...........
It just seems to me like my mom doesnt like every guy I date.... I don't know.
To me she just doesn't want me to get married and stay with her for the rest of her life and be her gal. Oh welll if that is what she wants I guessss I willl probably give in since I don't think I willl ever get married. So why bother looking forward for pushing people to marry me. End of the day my mom willl stilll say no..................
Since mom threaten me that if I do she might get a heart attack and die or whatsoever
And I might even make my dad sick and all my sisters not able to get married.
So whatever it is its my fault if any of this happens to me.
So what will u choose urself or ur family????????

Screw man.... can't wait tillllll I die.
I know I am full of shit.
But when you are in my situation you might be suiciding toooooo.