The future....

This post is dedicated to T. I know and understand that there is a future for us. Someone once told me that whatever has been done cannot be regreted. In this world there is no such thing as turning back as we cannot look back and regret but only can think of the future. I know you will try your very best to provide me and I know I will be the happiest women on earth. Its just that at this very moment you are away from me for 2 years and i really dont know how long I have to wait for u to come back and be beside me. I really don't know why I still say yes to waiting for you. I know your family will treat me well and good. I will try my very best to wait and keep my promises to you.

The Ups and Downs of Life

Recently my emotions has been really unstable. I really feel like sometimes people don't really think before they speak. i mean come on you are blardy turning into the age of a mother soon. Why can't you even think before you speak. I know you were unhappy in the past but what's wrong with you. I am really going mental because of this. And to that whoever that will be reading this you know urself yes LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP DO SUCKS BIG TIME. Try to think when u were alone who actually tried to be there for you and now what happen to me a piece of trash trown a side. Its alright you will soon get your time and you will know how it feels to be like that. To T i know you really love me and want me but think about it its really though waiting and I really feel really tired at times. I am sooo lost at times and you cannot even be there for me. I know you have to have a life there but then what about me. Sighhhhhhhh.

I really need to know what to do sometimes. Yes I know he gives me diamonds, flowers, chocolates, candies and even a lovely card. Yes I do feel touch by all this but I still need you to be by my side. I know I am childish by offending you, but have you ever thought how she offended me. Made me feel like shit and make me think that I am worthless. After that night's argument things have change and I know it will never be the same again. I can feel it. However, damage has been done. Like what she said to me its still hurts sometimes. I really hope that we can really workout, but I am afraid she is not letting it. I am really afraid.

Now there are so many things we have to fix before we can really be together. I do hope we can really work things out. I really do love you a lot and I can never find anyone to replace you. I am just afraid that we cannot work things out. Really afraid. Please someone tell me how to deal with it. Should I just sit quietly and take all this harsh comment or should I just let it go.

I am really stress when people ask me this:

X: When is T coming back
Me: I really dont know
X : What do you mean you don't know... I thought u are his gf.
Me: oh welll what cna I say with these gov thing.
X: U sure he still loves you ar???
Me: Yeah he does he said and I know.
X: Aiyaaaaaa u never know guys la.
Me: I know T very well he will not do anything to betray me.
X: You sure ka
Me: Aiyoooooooo......feel like dying if questions continues.


Everytime people ask me this I will surely feel like crying. What to do. Have to wait lor.

CNY, Valentines and your birthday

I know it has been a while since I blogged. Was pretty busy with work and my sooo stuffed up relationship. CNY was great I guess..... Valentines was crap, I was at home after work watching Amazing race asia. Sighhh... but I did get flowers from someone far away that kinda made my day felt less miserable. Anyhow since jan many things have been going on. My grandma passed away then came CNY then I went to bangkok for a shopping trip with Louise. Then came the part where I had major arguments and quarrels with him. I HATE HATE HATE this. I hate feeling like crap.