Things That i do to make life complicated

Sometimes I really think I complicate things a lot but sometimes I meant good. I think KJ is right. I think way to much for my brain to digest. The thing is if I dont think....arghhh ok lets not get to why I think to much. Friends are meant to be there for you when you need them not when they need you only. I feel that people are more protected when they are with families but when they are in a foreign country they tend to trust and count on friends more, but I guess cause they dont have anyone else. I always have problem with friends back here. I really dont understand why. Maybe I am tooo naive and dumb and people here in KL too smart for me. I reallly complicate things for me I think I reallly over do a lot of things and this really sometimes spoils everything. Oh well whatever it is I still have KJ here to love and protect me no matter what. I really am hurt when T betrayed my trust and told me that he will be back for me but he never did. I for that really hates him. I think a guy should never lie to their other half. Maybe T thinks I am not good enough for him but it doesnt matter anymore coz KJ will always appreciate me and love me. I believe he will try his best to make it there for us. I know my parents will be against it but KJ you will prove them wrong I know. I know u will love and care for me and make me the happiest woman on earth.

Last night.......

Things with me and him have been going really well till recently when reality hits us no wait just me that I wanna have a family before I turn 30 but really if it is gonna happen between me and him or its just a fairy tale. In any case I really dont wanna think about it anymore......just being with him and around him makes me happy. I love his company his laughter the way he shows his love for me. Its just really sweet. With him I don't have to give a lot to receive all this. Last nite I have made up my mind to just try our best to make things workout for us no matter what. Like they say IF ITS MEANT TO BE ITS MEANT TO BE .........

LOVE IS BLIND until reality hits.....but there is always a solution to everything rite


I guess all I can do is just hope and I guess hope and faith is the thing that makes tommorow better.

Till then.....I will just believe.

When you found love

There is this time in life where I thought I will be with my ex forever as I have never thought that he would have left me in KL all alone for 3 years till I said to myself enough is enough where I ended all my misery. I always thought that if you treat the guy well he will do the same to you and will want to be by your side and protect you. Maybe I was wrong or maybe that was just a fairy tale thinking. Now after being left alone and all I have finally be happy for once and found someone that will no matter what care for me love me and able to tell me everything is going to be fine coz he will be here for me. This time my relationship is very different, I know he might be indian but does it matter? I think what matters most is the guy has to love and care for me and treat me like a princess. KJ can give me all that and more. So what more do I wanna ask for?? I guess I am satisfied and happy already...............Love u KJ

The future....

This post is dedicated to T. I know and understand that there is a future for us. Someone once told me that whatever has been done cannot be regreted. In this world there is no such thing as turning back as we cannot look back and regret but only can think of the future. I know you will try your very best to provide me and I know I will be the happiest women on earth. Its just that at this very moment you are away from me for 2 years and i really dont know how long I have to wait for u to come back and be beside me. I really don't know why I still say yes to waiting for you. I know your family will treat me well and good. I will try my very best to wait and keep my promises to you.

The Ups and Downs of Life

Recently my emotions has been really unstable. I really feel like sometimes people don't really think before they speak. i mean come on you are blardy turning into the age of a mother soon. Why can't you even think before you speak. I know you were unhappy in the past but what's wrong with you. I am really going mental because of this. And to that whoever that will be reading this you know urself yes LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP DO SUCKS BIG TIME. Try to think when u were alone who actually tried to be there for you and now what happen to me a piece of trash trown a side. Its alright you will soon get your time and you will know how it feels to be like that. To T i know you really love me and want me but think about it its really though waiting and I really feel really tired at times. I am sooo lost at times and you cannot even be there for me. I know you have to have a life there but then what about me. Sighhhhhhhh.

I really need to know what to do sometimes. Yes I know he gives me diamonds, flowers, chocolates, candies and even a lovely card. Yes I do feel touch by all this but I still need you to be by my side. I know I am childish by offending you, but have you ever thought how she offended me. Made me feel like shit and make me think that I am worthless. After that night's argument things have change and I know it will never be the same again. I can feel it. However, damage has been done. Like what she said to me its still hurts sometimes. I really hope that we can really workout, but I am afraid she is not letting it. I am really afraid.

Now there are so many things we have to fix before we can really be together. I do hope we can really work things out. I really do love you a lot and I can never find anyone to replace you. I am just afraid that we cannot work things out. Really afraid. Please someone tell me how to deal with it. Should I just sit quietly and take all this harsh comment or should I just let it go.

I am really stress when people ask me this:

X: When is T coming back
Me: I really dont know
X : What do you mean you don't know... I thought u are his gf.
Me: oh welll what cna I say with these gov thing.
X: U sure he still loves you ar???
Me: Yeah he does he said and I know.
X: Aiyaaaaaa u never know guys la.
Me: I know T very well he will not do anything to betray me.
X: You sure ka
Me: Aiyoooooooo......feel like dying if questions continues.


Everytime people ask me this I will surely feel like crying. What to do. Have to wait lor.