Hurt.........

What do you do when you are sooo adly hurt and you can never ever do anything cause whatever you do is just not going to make anything work. I really need someone now to support me to accompany me but I cannot tell anyone what I am going through. I really cannot stand up. i really cannot even move or I dont know where and how to move. What should I do????

What would you do when you are lost and confused. When you can only work when someone tells you to and go when someone pushes you. What should I do......

I really cannot go on being like that being soooo useless being so f*** up and all I can do is sit and cry and wishes that you never ever had even a tiny bit of feelings for this person. I am so sad that T is never around for me and I have been in a lot of emotional turmoil because he left me here nearly 3 years ago promising that he will return for me but he never did and never thought of it. Maybe he is never the guy for me. Who am I kidding. Yes they say love is really complex because you sacrifice everything for it. However have we ever thought are we getting something out of this sacrifice we make. Have we ever thought that if the person never will sacrifice for you and all he does is take from you.

When you know about it its too late already cause everything has been taken from you and all is left for you to pick up your life is just an empty shell with all you can try to fill in but it will never ever work cause it will not be the same anymore.

I am feeling empty, lost, clueless and pain.............

How long must this last for me. I dont want to celebrate my 25th birthday all alone again, not this year again. T promises that he will come back for my birthday and we will celebrate christmas and new year's together but I guesss this is all just a dream which will never come true because he doesnt want to come back. I guess I have to accpet the fact that life's never fair to you........... so learn to live with it as much as you can before it gets worst i guess..

Is it Love or Like

I am confused coz after making things clear with D that we are only friends I came to realize that I think I kinda love him. I know I cannot love him, he has other gals out there and I dont want to be with a guy that has so many other gals and only come to you when he has finish all his stuff with the other gal. I dont want him to use me or to think I am a good contact source. I can't but knowing I dont have anyone to support me I don't know how much longer I can take it. I am not sure if he likes me but what I am sure is he is not in love with me at least I know he does not love me as much as I love him. What should I do. I don't want to fall in love for him. I hope this feeling will be just temporary cause I really cannot take it anymore. I am all alone and no one understands me. I was left alone once like that by T and until today I am still scared that guys will treat me like how T treated me. I dont want the guy to leave me all alone to fend for myself, I do get lonely and friends cannot do what lovers do. I dont want to fall for another guy that will leave me all alone to fend for myself anymore, though they might think I am strong and independent but hey which gay doesn't want to be treated well and pampered. Is it so hard for me to get a guy that will be by myside and also love me more than any other gals. Come to think about it, at the end of the day who will be there for them.....................

Just hard.....

At the moment I am hungry and tired can someone tell me what to eat please??

Tired, stress, confussed and uncertain..

Last night was the day that I feel soo sooo tired that I just went home after work at 5 and just fall flat on my bed and sleep. Yes without dinner and shower. I was so tired that I could not even lift my self to shower. That was how tired I was. When I woke up at 10.30pm..... as normal there is no more food left for me so I have to just go hungry till this morning. Sighhhhh.... but I woke up and had my shower and stilll feel tired. Therefore after talking to D for a while I went to bed. Oh me and D we are just friends now.... there is nothing going on between us just to make things clear. Just cannot take it that if I were to be his gf I am not that important to him. The gal that is most important to him is always her. So therefore I guesss I will have to move on and get my life back. I dont want to dwell in it anymore. There are many other guys out there for me. I am sure there will be one that will treat me and put me in their priority list. I really hope I know what I am doing right now I hope I am right and I hope the decision I made is right. I will not deny that he treats me well too but not as well as I could call him a bf but well enough for me to say that he can be a very goood friends.

Recently I have became soo stress with my work, my other job which I am trying to try out, and also me wanting to change to other companies. I want to be able to earn more. I am 25 and I cannot be earning what I am earning now. I dont want to depend on my family anymore I want to be able to give them back. See what I mean I am stresss........what to do to take my stresss away???? Anyone wants to go for ice cream or deserts... but I dont know where to have deserts.... any suggestions????

The day when friends become enemies

I was recently in a cat fight with a gal fren of mine coz she started backstabing me in front of everyone about my private life and I just had to put a stop it. So I just told her off and she did not admit. I dont understand why must she be jealous of what I have when the life she has is what she has choosen. I just really hope that she realises this. Its not that I am mad at her I just have enough of all the rumours and things thta people say which some parts of it are not true. I don't hold any grudge on her coz to me is I am not happy I tell you off I hope you just appologize and we can still be friends. You see the fact that frens do argue and do have dissatisfaction on each other to a certain extend and to me is after that we appologize and we should be frens back. I am not sure how she takes it because I realize that most of her friends that had fights with her doesnt really talk to her. Why ........

How much is enough.

How much is enough ??????

Yes I meant by money how much money you need is enough for one.....

Besides that how much can one take is enough from life, relationship and work.

Is there a limit or a bottom line if yes then what is it for D...and me??

Relationships..........

You see the fact that I am not very picky on my other half I just want him to be better than me, I have a philosophy that I will only get marry to a guy that can support me, that has a bright future ahead and also a good person. I dont ask for a good looking guy or someone who is super rich. All I dont want is a guy that doesnt have a job and cannot even treat me as a lady and the most important thing if we do happen to spend the rest of our life together I hope he is able to support the family. Yet this is really hard to look for and I dont really understand why. The thing is everytime i am in a relationship and he started to treat me cold it makes me think that I am not good enuf for him or maybe I am not the person he wants. Sometimes like now I really try my very best to be there for him when he needs me and when he is at his lowest point but what if he does not want it. Does that mean that I am not a good gf or does that mean that I cannot help him feel better? Do I have to be in his business in order to help him share the burden?

Some people might think love is everything in a relationship... but have you ever thought, can love put food on your table and get u shinning gifts? I am sure some gals are dating because of love and feelings, but have they every thought that can their partner provide for them. If they say they dont need that they can live with what they have... then why do you still get jealous when you see people getting gifts and romantic dinner and getaway from their boy friend. The fact that we gals would like to be spoiled by our love ones. So do I.

So sometimes dont say things like I dont need this and that because we do to a certain extend.